This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
