it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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