so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
