I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
