She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
