so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
it's like iHOP with fire
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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