So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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