After last night, I could never be a politician.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
