once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
