Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Randomize