I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize