My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
