I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Randomize