their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
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I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
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He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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