please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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