where am i from again
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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