he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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