He asked to "fluff my boner.."
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
false alarm, still single
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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