Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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