You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
You pole danced in your parka.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
