Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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