Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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