so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize