Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
