GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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