she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
birth control should be required to get into college
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
