what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
