They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
