Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
