Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
