there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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