Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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