he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who