she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
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