you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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