Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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