how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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