I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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