My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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