It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize