What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
We have so much sex to catch up on
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
