What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
