The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
