For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
