the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
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I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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