I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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