What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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