We should be called the Road Head Warriors
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize