A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
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future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
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Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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