Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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