i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
