I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
