Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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