Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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