I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
