Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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