I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
