So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
