I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
