Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
