i just google imaged poop.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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