i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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