I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
